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#875429 - 04/14/09 09:27 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: musician7]
charisma01 Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/21/04
Posts: 1190
Loc: California
NBG, You add so much, compassion and knowledge to this forum. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You really are an extraordinary individual.


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#875441 - 04/14/09 09:47 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: charisma01]
nitemoon Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1445
Loc: AL
NBG,

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

_________________________
Cant I take away all this pain. (you wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain... in vain.

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#875452 - 04/14/09 10:07 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
eluded Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/29/08
Posts: 1618
Good Luck to you, and your list. do it all.

You having been here has made this board better. I get the impression that anywhere you go, you elevate the level of talk, and encourage the lost art of thought.

Best wishes !

elude

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#875977 - 04/15/09 07:28 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: eluded]
Tred Offline
Board Addict

Registered: 10/18/03
Posts: 348
Loc: USA
Good luck my friend! LIfe is all an experience anyway and you'll have many more adventures ahead of you too!!!! We will all have a bucket list eventually and I hope you can get some of that stuff done. I suggest to do very fun and dangerous things! =)
_________________________
Entertainment Specialist!

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#876642 - 04/17/09 01:03 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: Tred]
trixxie Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 05/23/03
Posts: 1079
Loc: ID
Hey NBG...You know since the day I started here. I thought, 'who is this guy' and 'who is this guy that is knowledgable?"

Well, NotBill.. you are a great guy.. there are many things I could say, and I will in short order. You are a valuable asset to the human race. There a some that come along in people's lives and make them better. You, my friend, are one of them. I hope you don't think I'm taking too much license by callin you 'friend' but reading your posts, I feel I have an insight into your world. I wish I had your wittiness, perhaps you can give some lessons to the rest of us??

Well, by now you have my offer.. please consider it.

With love and blessings from your Catholic friend.

Trixxie(the one with the stripper name) LMAO!
_________________________
Dream outloud

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#876774 - 04/17/09 10:54 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: trixxie]
patient2all Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 3531
Loc: NY/NJ
I wish I had 1/100 of NBG's guts....

patient2all
_________________________
I'll be back...

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#877620 - 04/19/09 11:34 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: DanielWA]
NotBillGates Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 2800
 Originally Posted By: DanielWA
Do you know how friggin long it took me to find you on that friggin street corner?? Do you know how many other ppl I would do that for? Not many!


I know. I wasn’t dressed appropriately. The male escort suit I normally wear while standing at the street corner was at the cleaners.

 Originally Posted By: DanielWA
You have become more then friend, or a pal NBG...you have been someone that I have loved getting to know, loved helping when I can, and felt that we had so much more to do! (No...not that! LOL) You know what I mean!


Yes I know what you mean.

 Originally Posted By: DanielWA
All this time, and you never mentioned that to me...I know a lot about you, but you skipped over that? D!mn it!


I wanted to save the best for last.

 Originally Posted By: DanielWA
Who am I going to complain to about Miss Daisy, and the kids and my life?


I plan on being around awhile. Of course my plans may not meet-up with the Grim Reapers

 Originally Posted By: DanielWA
You HAVE NOT seen the last of me, my friend!
I know because we had breakfast for lunch the other day. I don’t know many who love breakfast as much as I do. You never blinked an eye at my suggestion of IHOP

Thank you for being one of my closest and dearest soul mates.


_________________________
There is nothing more mysterious about the passing from one life to another than there is in our passing from one moment to another. Buddhist Proverb

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#877631 - 04/19/09 12:00 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
OldandWorn Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/21/03
Posts: 9858
Loc: Somewhere in the budget
Me? Best of luck buddy boy!!
_________________________
Spring is here. Proof to Al Gore that global warming is real.
-Bill Clinton
2 85

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#877636 - 04/19/09 12:08 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
jpbp Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/23/07
Posts: 997
Loc: okie
NBG, I don't know if you read my comment on your "bucket list" but I wanted to say (again) how encouraging you have been for me on the educational end.

I have picked up your love of education. I hope to get my master's in a specialized field of speech or reading for the elementary children.

You have inspired so many. Take this time to enjoy yourself.

For you to say that you want to have it all done (your bucket list) before the fall semester begins speaks volumes of your dedication. I only wish I had you for a professor!!

Peace


Edited by jpbp (04/19/09 12:09 PM)
Edit Reason: silly sunday
_________________________
All you have to do is smile, smile, smile!!!

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#877644 - 04/19/09 12:17 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: jpbp]
JokerOwling Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 1971
Loc: here at the moment
Maybe if you don't do anything on your bucket list,it will be too full and heavy to be able to kick.

Your post really surprised me NBG.You are too good a soul to leave us now.I will be giving the reaper a call and telling him to back off for a while.Earth still needs you.

My heart is with you NotBillGates.
_________________________
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.' -Garrison Keillor

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#877677 - 04/19/09 01:20 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: jpbp]
NotBillGates Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 2800
 Originally Posted By: jpbp
NBG, I don't know if you read my comment on your "bucket list" but I wanted to say (again) how encouraging you have been for me on the educational end.

I have picked up your love of education. I hope to get my master's in a specialized field of speech or reading for the elementary children.

You have inspired so many. Take this time to enjoy yourself.

For you to say that you want to have it all done (your bucket list) before the fall semester begins speaks volumes of your dedication. I only wish I had you for a professor!!

Peace


Yes jpbp; I read it your original response. I’m a bit slow at responding because my he-male is just brimming with such passionate letters. I knew there were a lot of good people out there; but wasn’t prepared for the outpouring of admiration.

I'm honored to have made an impact on your life. Education is a very rewarding vocation. Turning Knowledge Into Value is a rare gift. The greatest joy of teaching is seeing a student years later down the road as a CEO of a large corporation. Knowing that I made a substantial difference in someone’s life is one of my greatest joys.

I wish you the best in this great field. And wish you will experience later on down the road, exactly what I am speaking of.

_________________________
There is nothing more mysterious about the passing from one life to another than there is in our passing from one moment to another. Buddhist Proverb

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#877683 - 04/19/09 01:33 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
SallyCShells Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 501
Wow, I had no idea NBG! I am in shock and saddened to hear this news.

I have always enjoyed your posts, good humor and help.

I wish you all the best and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

May you find all the peace, joy and comfort possible in this crazy world and have a great time taking on that bucket list! Best of luck!






Hugs and Blessings,

Sally

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#877774 - 04/19/09 07:16 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: SallyCShells]
tj44 Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 06/14/05
Posts: 420
So NBG this is it huh???

I have to agree with all present that your posts were and are remarkable and I thank you.

My sentence handed down in the Spring of 2001 gave me to the Fall to live.

Fall of 2001 that is...yet here I am.

You never know what tricks are in store for you from God, Mahammud, Christ, the Blessed Mother or whoever or whatever you believe in.

Don't get packed too soon.
I did, only praying to be able to see my daughter come home from 6th grade that school year.
I got an extension(celestial) and was able to see her come home every year since until her high school graduation last June.

She is spending a year overseas now.
Not so dependent on this parent anymore.
If God wants to take me now I am ready. It's been a hard but satisfying run.

I hope your extension comes through if that's what you want.
Don't believe everything the docs say, mine were at the almighty Johns Hopkins and they were wrong.
_________________________
If you can't be a good example - then you'll just have to be a terrible warning.

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#877798 - 04/19/09 08:41 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
kserah Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 10/05/04
Posts: 3800
Loc: In the moment
You can't go until I do--I get to be first at something for once in my life! It's odd, the more I let go, the more things come into my life that make me stronger. I realized I had to come to terms with my ego and admit---I don't know.

We're on God's time, not ours. And for the record, this past year I spent straightening out my financial affairs and such, got the DNR, Power of Attorney, etc. and made a list of people to call (some from this board) who would let anyone know what was going on. I went over all this with my sons (you know how guys are--they would have been like deer in the headlights!), so I even wrote my own obituary. They can add more if they like, but I got down the basics for them. I don't want a funeral or wake. Just a cremation and scatter my ashes in the river near the home I grew up in. One day you'll be eathing tuna fish and wonder if a little bit of Kserah is in there!

The other odd thing is that while the numbers are going down (FEV-forced expiratory volume) and the meds are going up, I feel oddly happy--like no cares or worries, whether I live five days or minutes or five years. Everything has taken on a new life. I even took out accident insurance--who says I won't get hit by a semi? None of us know, do we? At least the boys will be set up a little better. I don't get to see them so much anymore. The oldest is in Israel for a year (job) and the younger one just had another baby (I KNEW my instructions would work!) Nevertheless, when I think about them, I can actually smell them and feel their hugs. It all lasts forever, love does.

It's taken a lot of grueling work and pain and tears to come to the realization that there is only this minute to live in. Sure wish I would have learned it sooner. Or, maybe it's just the meds and the lack of oxygen to the brain. Whatever it is, it's a good combo!

(Don't try this at home, kids.)

And NBG--keep the bra on. I'm not going out without mascara and my hair done.

kserah
_________________________
Pay it forward,then let it go. You will be amazed at what comes into your life at just the right time.



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#877821 - 04/19/09 10:06 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
nephro Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 10306
Loc: NOT 40!
To anyone who is being prescribed strong opioids for serious illness and the associated pain, a medicine called methylnaltrexone bromide (Relistor) is now in use to relieve the constipation associated with long-term use of opioids. It does not affect analgesia or any other property of the opioid, as it does not cross the blood-brain barrier.

It is given by subcutaneous injection; it is usual to try oral laxatives first, though methylnaltrexone only needs to be given every other day.

It has a rapid onset of effect - under 1 hour.

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#877828 - 04/19/09 10:30 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
SoHoTribeca Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 05/20/06
Posts: 2554
 Originally Posted By: NotBillGates


I’m almost completed with my bucket list. I will list it when I’m finished and share all the experiences of the list with you as I check each off the list.


NotBill, Enjoy meeting Obama and please discern him through the eyes of one who is not attached to illusion. I am looking forward to hearing your inner thoughts about him, if you would share. I'm not adverse to stealing from Musician's picture stash nor vicariously from your bucket list. Luv, Soho

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#877830 - 04/19/09 10:41 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: nephro]
jpbp Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/23/07
Posts: 997
Loc: okie
nephro, I looked up relistor and while it looks promising it does give a list of meds it should not be taken with.

The site (drugs.com) states that if you take relistor with any of the meds they listed, it could take away the pain-relieving aspect of that drug.

A small list includes:

codeine
hydrocodone
morphine
methadone
oxycodone

There are more listed but i didn't want to use up a lot of space. Unfortunately, I cannot cut and paste an article.

A quote from the site (drugs.com) states that "the pain relieving effects of any narcotic pain medication you use will be blocked if you use them during treatment with Reliston."

Not trying to say that you are wrong. You, too, have given me good solid advice about other meds.

Maybe we should check into this a little more.

Just need a little help understanding how it does not effect the use of other opiates. Correct me if I am wrong.!

Peace
_________________________
All you have to do is smile, smile, smile!!!

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#877981 - 04/20/09 10:57 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: jpbp]
nephro Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 10306
Loc: NOT 40!
Far from it jpbp; it was vital that you posted that. There's a mistake somewhere, and could well be either source. Certainly a patient considering this drug needs to know what is being said about it, and if it did reverse the effects of the narcotics you mention, it would be seriously cruel to the patient.

When I saw the name "methylnaltrexone" and the indication of relief of constipation associated with narcotics, it was somewhat surprising, as was the route of administration.

This looks like the page you looked at:

http://www.drugs.com/relistor.html

and indeed it does say:

 Quote:
Relistor works by preventing this side effect without reducing the pain-relieving effects of the narcotic. It is usually given after laxatives have been tried without successful treatment of constipation.


followed further down by:

 Quote:
The pain-relieving effects of any narcotic pain medications you use will be blocked if you use them during your treatment with Relistor.


Very confusing! I'm guessing that they are confusing it with naltrexone, possibly as a result of automated search engine/data gathering techniques. Some search engines will pick out the "naltrexone" part of the drug name, and quote the properties of the drug.

There's some more results from the drugs.com search engine here:

http://www.drugs.com/search.php?searchte...s_inet_search=0

Looks like we'll have to try to weed out the correct information.


Edited by nephro (04/20/09 11:02 AM)

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#877988 - 04/20/09 11:13 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: nephro]
nephro Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 10306
Loc: NOT 40!
I've just found the exact same wording be various other sites, but replacing the drug name with "naltrexone injection":

http://myhealth.ucsd.edu/library/healthguide/en-us/drugguide/topic.asp?hwid=d01406v1

and "naltrexone oral":

http://www.patientslikeme.com/all/treatments/detail/4918-naltrexone

The rest of the whole page is also identical, with just the drug name changed.

I'm really glad you pointed out what is happening here, and it's pretty poor to say the least. Certain sites are just copying information from other sites, and using word-find to compile their own.


Edited by nephro (04/20/09 11:15 AM)

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#878090 - 04/20/09 01:50 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: nephro]
martind Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 05/01/08
Posts: 2753
A quick response so as to not take all of the focus off of Mr. Gates' really unfortunate health condition.
Although Relistor is a recent addition to treatment modalities for end-stage, terminal patients (usually cancer)in Europe and Canada, it seems so far to have a fairly good track record in treating serious, opioid-induced constipation syndromes. Wyeth is currently working on an oral formulation to add to the SC delivery options.
If you think about its action, the manufacturer apparently came up with a means to isolate the antagonist effects of naltrexone to the GI system only without affecting the mu-agonist effects of opioids on the brain by attaching a methyl grouping to it.
I also don't know where or why the warning about negating analgesic effects originated. It sounds like an uneducated opinion from someone who doesn't understand the purpose of this drug in the first place. If it was a contraindication added post-marketing, good luck to Wyeth trying to sell this new medication. Their target audience wasn't that big to begin with.

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#878107 - 04/20/09 02:08 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
mysharona Offline
Member

Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 106
I am very sorry. I know we dont know each other but sill..
You seem to have a very positive attitude about your situation and that's so good. I wish you the best rest of your life that life has to offer you. I cried a little for you.

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#878562 - 04/21/09 12:47 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: nephro]
kserah Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 10/05/04
Posts: 3800
Loc: In the moment
 Originally Posted By: nephro
To anyone who is being prescribed strong opioids for serious illness and the associated pain, a medicine called methylnaltrexone bromide (Relistor) is now in use to relieve the constipation associated with long-term use of opioids. It does not affect analgesia or any other property of the opioid, as it does not cross the blood-brain barrier.

It is given by subcutaneous injection; it is usual to try oral laxatives first, though methylnaltrexone only needs to be given every other day.

It has a rapid onset of effect - under 1 hour.


I want me some of that stuff! Is it only in the UK?
_________________________
Pay it forward,then let it go. You will be amazed at what comes into your life at just the right time.



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#878572 - 04/21/09 01:07 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
kserah Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 10/05/04
Posts: 3800
Loc: In the moment
Bill, do you really believe in death? I truly feel that slipping into the next world is no different than going through a door. We need not leave anything behind, since this is the dream world anyway. We can create what we want on the other side.

The only time I get blue is when I think about not being able to hug my kids. But, as my son reminded me, where we go there is a clarity we have no words to describe here. And that we can be together, but so much closer and we can actually get down to the spiritual level.

This kid was BORN knowing stuff! ine thing that has helped me greatly was to contact people I may have had words or ill feeings with as one time or another--even in grade school years. I made a point of contacting them and admitting where I was a that time that did not bring out the best in my behavior. I told them how it had bothered me for years and I needed to apologize. The outpouring of love and forgiveness I got was unbelievable. It's very nice to know I won't walk out the door of terra firma feeling calmer, loving more and feel at peace.

And I know when I cross over, there will still be some much more to learn---like where do the socks go when you put hem in the dryer! AT LAST! THE ANSWERS TO THE UNIVERSE!!!
_________________________
Pay it forward,then let it go. You will be amazed at what comes into your life at just the right time.



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#878582 - 04/21/09 01:20 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: kserah]
tigersmom Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/20/05
Posts: 5821
Loc: The Steve Doocy Fan Club
 Quote:
I don't want a funeral or wake. Just a cremation and scatter my ashes in the river near the home I grew up in.


K, I feel such a connection to you...this is my dream for my final journey as well, except that instead of a river, I want my ashes scattered in a compost heap (to be applied to my beloved garden, hehe.)

Oh bill, please keep in mind tj's experience, that is, that your "death sentence" may be prolonged, so to speak, and that we will be "stuck" with you for some time, LOL.
_________________________
"Prejudices are what fools use for reason."

- Voltaire


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#878648 - 04/21/09 03:35 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: kserah]
nephro Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 10306
Loc: NOT 40!
 Originally Posted By: kserah
 Originally Posted By: nephro
To anyone who is being prescribed strong opioids for serious illness and the associated pain, a medicine called methylnaltrexone bromide (Relistor) is now in use to relieve the constipation associated with long-term use of opioids. It does not affect analgesia or any other property of the opioid, as it does not cross the blood-brain barrier.

It is given by subcutaneous injection; it is usual to try oral laxatives first, though methylnaltrexone only needs to be given every other day.

It has a rapid onset of effect - under 1 hour.


I want me some of that stuff! Is it only in the UK?


It's just been released in the UK by Wyeth, so it comes as no great surprise that it's expensive - about £150 for 7 vials to the NHS; usually even more at retail.

Looks like the FDA have approved it:

http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2008/NEW01826.html

 Quote:
FDA Approves Relistor for Opioid-Induced Constipation
drug will help reduce effects of drugs like morphine on bowel function

The U.S. Food and drug Administration today approved Relistor (methylnaltrexone bromide) to help restore bowel function in patients with late-stage, advanced illness who are receiving opioids on a continuous basis to help alleviate their pain.

Opioids are often prescribed on a continuous basis for patients with late-stage, advanced illness to help alleviate pain. This includes patients with a diagnosis of incurable cancer, end-stage Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) from emphysema, heart failure, Alzheimer’s disease with dementia, HIV/AIDS or other advanced illnesses.

Opioids can interfere with normal bowel elimination function by relaxing the intestinal smooth muscles and preventing them from contracting and pushing out waste products. Relistor acts by blocking opioid entrance into the cells thus allowing the bowels to continue to function normally.

“This new drug will be helpful to patients who experience severe constipation associated with the continuous use of morphine or other opioids, which are an important part of care for patients with late-stage, advanced illness.” said Joyce Korvick, M.D., deputy director of the Division of Gastroenterology Products, FDA.

Relistor is an injectable medication. It can be administered as needed, but not to exceed one dose in a 24 hour period. The recommended starting schedule is one dose every other day as needed for patients with late-stage advanced illness. Relistor is not recommended for patients with known or suspected intestinal obstructions.

Common side effects include abdominal pain, gas, nausea, dizziness and diarrhea. If severe diarrhea, vomiting, nausea or abdominal pain occurs while taking Relistor, patients should discontinue use of the medication in consultation with their health care professional.

The safety and effectiveness of the drug was demonstrated in clinical studies conducted by the sponsors. The two randomized, double-blind placebo-controlled studies involving a total of 287 participants were conducted over a four month period. The median age of the study participants was 68 years, and 51 percent of the participants were women. In both studies, all patients had advanced late-stage illnesses with a life expectancy of less than 6 months. Prior to treatment with Relistor, participants had either less than three bowel movements in the week prior to treatment or no bowel movement for more than 2 days. Patients who were treated with Relistor had a significantly higher rate of elimination than those receiving placebo. The safety and effectiveness of Relistor have not been studied in pediatric populations.

Relistor is manufactured by Wyeth Pharmaceuticals Inc., Philadelphia, PA., and Progenics Pharmaceuticals, Tarrytown, NY.

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#878690 - 04/21/09 05:19 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: kserah]
NotBillGates Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 2800
 Originally Posted By: kserah
Bill, do you really believe in death?


kserah, no, I do not believe in death. I believe the soul just takes on another human body. I like you, agree “that slipping into the next world is no different than going through a door. Read my tagline, “There is nothing more mysterious about the passing from one life to another than there is in our passing from one moment to another. Buddhist Proverb”

I get “blue” about the same things. But then thinking of all the possibilities in my next life. My new family; new friends; new career and the “blues” just fade away.

In Buddhist tradition; I want to be cremated where there are fragments of bone (they don’t cremate at such a high temperature as they do in Amerika). Everyone attending my funeral gets to take two pieces of my remains. One you’ll place in a small home urn to keep me as an eternal guest in your home. The other; placed in a small metallic container and attached necklace to keep me close to your heart. The rest of my remains are to be scattered off of the Sedona Vortex in Sedona, Arizona. My most favorite place in the world. My dear deceased wife’s ashes are there as well.


Attachments
Cremation Urn For Home.jpg

Description: Cremation Urn For Home

Buddhist Necklace Urn.jpg

Description: Buddhist Necklace Urn

Sedona Vortex.jpg

Description: Sedona Vortex


_________________________
There is nothing more mysterious about the passing from one life to another than there is in our passing from one moment to another. Buddhist Proverb

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#878692 - 04/21/09 05:25 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
kserah Offline

GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 10/05/04
Posts: 3800
Loc: In the moment
No, I don't believe in death, but I am so accustomed to this dimension that I assume things are 'real' when they are merely clusters of light. I know that I will be even closer to my loved ones than if I could hug them. I can be IN them, and them in me.

I specifically wrote down that I do not want a funeral. There's money set aside for travel and perhaps a party if everyone is on the same continent at the time, but I prefer to go out like I came in--without fanfare. I have a favorite spot where I use to go fishing and that's where my boys will take me. Knowing them, they'll be making jokes, but it's the laughter that I love the most. I can't think of a better 'send off' than that!
_________________________
Pay it forward,then let it go. You will be amazed at what comes into your life at just the right time.



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#878775 - 04/21/09 09:06 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: kserah]
NiceGuy Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/08
Posts: 639
Loc: Up the Creek

Kinda reluctant to post here, on such a serious matter and with such deep thinkers, but-

When I had my first heart attack, on July 1st, 2004, I waited 24 hours before finally calling for help, as I had no insurance.
Passed out for 13 of those hours, but remarkably woke up, probably due to the pain.
To make it short, I ended up in the "Cath Lab" and was well aware of all the things that can go wrong there, due to hearing stories from a retired nurse.
I remember looking up at the bright lights and hearing voices all around.
Strangly, I had little fear and was cracking jokes with these people to the point that the Dr. ask me to be quite, as he had a lot of work to do and had to do it very fast.
After that, I only made an occassional request for morphine for pain.
Some voice said "We can't give you anything till the proceedure is finished, just hang in there."
Never really got a good look at the faces of the people who saved my life, other than my MD.
It was just another day at the office, for them, but brings a tear to my eye, from time to time.

At some point, during this, my vision went to white. Never seen anything like it.
Amazing how many thoughts can go through ones mind in a few seconds ?
I felt like I was loosing consioness and remember thinking "So this is what it's like to die ? It's no big deal. I don't see what everyone is so afraid of ?"

Moments later, my vision returned and I was back to normal.
They had cleared and stinted what the cardiologist said was a 100% blocked right main artery in my heart.
I've got a nice x-ray of it.

I'll never know what that experience was,(Maybe a big shot of morphine ?), but while I fear pain, I have little or no fear of death now.
Every morning, when I wake up, I'm mildly surprised and feel guilty that I am not doing more with my life, but don't have the energy. That MI kinda kicked the stuffins outa me.

Sincere respect for those who have real belief in what comes after, but personally, I don't have a clue.
Just a strong feeling that it's nothing to fear.

I discussed cremation with the pastor of the Christian Church across the road and where I was brought up.
He said I might be wasting my money, as being familiar with my character, incineration seemed like a sure thing.
Rare to find such honesty in a man of the cloth !
I like him !

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#878798 - 04/21/09 09:49 PM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NiceGuy]
tigersmom Offline
GRAND Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/20/05
Posts: 5821
Loc: The Steve Doocy Fan Club
 Quote:
I'll never know what that experience was,(Maybe a big shot of morphine ?), but while I fear pain, I have little or no fear of death now.


The human brain is a wonderous organ is it not? It seems to me that as we die certain substances are released that will comfort us, at least that is my feeling. I also do not fear death since, although I do not believe in an after life, nor do I think that I will rejoin loved ones, I do believe that, whether we are cremated or buried, that we return to the elements upon which all life is based. When I think of the atoms and molecules that make up my mortal body being incorporated back into the sea, the earth, the wind, etc. which make up our glorious earth, this knowledge of becoming once again part of the cosmic whole gives me great happiness.
_________________________
"Prejudices are what fools use for reason."

- Voltaire


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#880057 - 04/24/09 11:39 AM Re: Need to say goodbye . . . . [Re: NotBillGates]
iloveverybody Offline
Member

Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 138
NBG, I am heartbroken to hear this news. As someone else has already said, you are one of the few people here who really stand out. Not just for your informative posts but also for your caring and true concern when talking with people.
I hope you are able to stay around for a good while, so we can all let you know how much you have touched our lives, even if only through the internet, it has been significant.
I had cancer 6 years ago, and I understand completely your desire to stop the chemo. I still think the last 2 months of chemo are what caused my constant pain I have today, I don't care what the doctors say chemo drugs kill you along with the disease.
I just hope you are pain-free and have enough energy now. I know how hard it can be, but can't imagine what you're going through right now.

God Bless You my friend.

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