SoHo,

If this vet will not bill you please do yourself a favor and pay first so you can just leave later and not have to stand there and act normal when normal can't be found at that time.
I'm happy the vet worked with you to sedate Mia while so many will not with a cat.
I lost my big boy in January and no matter how the situation is now it's okay to still feel bad later and don't let anyone hurry you a long.
I wish I was smart enough to share my hurt here since I now see all the kind people who really care and understand.
I smile as I look into the future and see a nice person in a shelter a few weeks or months from now looking for that new special friend who will have a wonderful new life to look forward to with his or her new human. You are not replacing Mia you are saving another life
I'm looking forward to that new thread and hope you know how to upload photos since I seem to be confused on that here.
Maybe we can play a game of what to name him/her? I always let the animal hang around for a week or two to see if they become a name, like Miss Piggy (can't stop eating), Squeaky (loud happy cat ) or Boo Boo for all the boo boo's he gets.
My thoughts are with you.
K

Soho, I avoided reading the posts on this thread because I knew they would upset me, but did not feel right avoiding you and your pain.

I am very sorry about your kitty,

Bluefairy

Soho,

Here is the website that is the rainbow bridge.
http://rainbowsbridge.com/. It is a great place to honor your furbabies that have passed on. God bless you and Mia and thank you for being so in tune with her that you can give her the gift of being pain free. She is a lucky furbaby.

I pray for the time that you can think of her with a smile instead of a tear. I pray that time comes to you quickly

God Bless

Soho From Your Arms Into Gods Arms

SoHo, it is Rainbow's Bridge http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

My heart goes out to you and Mia, and I hope the pill works to keep her calm. You are in my prayers... it takes a long time to heal, but their are always furry little friends out there that need you as much as you need them. Never a replacement, just a New Friend.

I wish you strength today. Know that she will be free of pain and that i what you really want for her.

The people in the forum part of the web site there are wonderful also. Sorry I originally gave you the wrong address.

Thinking of you.

Losing a pet is no country song.. Let me tell ya. I am so sorry.

Soho,

My thoughts are with you. Mia will be pain free in another life as all life is sacred.

-=NBG=-

I remember singing to my Husky when they gave her the shot that would stop her heart. She was 12 and so sick she couldn't stand up. I carried her from the car to the table.

I sang to her about her puppies that she had when she was 3, and all the attention it got her as a proud new mom. It was a song we sang to her when she nursed, and I know she remembered it because she smiled.

This was nearly 15 years ago, that she died, and I'll never forget it. It was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. So often you don't get to say goodbye, and I was right there, breathing next to her when she stopped.

Seven years ago I sang the song to my new son, to help him sleep. He stopped crying, then I started.

Awesome. Absolutely awesome.

It's the circle, friends. And it's beauty and it's Truth and it's all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know ...

Soho/Tribeca...

I just read this thread and I want to send you my very deepest sympathies on the loss of Mia. I have lost cats and also people I was close to and grief and loss does not know a species. The difference is when we lose a human family member the world rallies to your side and allows your to mourn. For a pet, the support is so much more selective. But for a person who has lost their beloved companion the grief is just as intense.

Cherish the memories, know that she had a life lived with love and when you are ready... If you do live your screen name there are wonderful cat adoption resources locally. And if there is a point when you aren't ready to adopt but miss feline companionship, consider being a foster parent. Foster homes are sorely for cats and kittens on short or longer term basis.

Once again you are in my prayers. May Mia's memory be a blessing.

We lost our cat of 19 years, but she just disappeared because she was very ill and knew she was dying. We never had any closure, and wish we could have done the right thing in time, which is certainly what you're doing. I'm sure she had a good life when she was well.

Nephro, please don't feel bad that this cat who lived an incredible 19 years, that's the longest I've ever heard of, walked off to find her place to die. At one time that was a natural thing for the native American to do, it's the culture that sets the norms. To die naturally, within yourself, until recently, was the only way one could go. I think? I know how much we all worry about the physical pain or if the Great Spirit is there or not, but watching Mia, and holding her as she died today, I told the vet I didn't feel her spirit leave her body. I'm sure that sounded bizarre, but I spoke the truth. I said in my earlier post that my Mia left a few days ago, and when I couldn't tell if she was gone today it was a different experience for me. I've never sedated a pet before bringing them in, and as it was when working with aged people in a nursing home, one could tell when there was no life behind the eyes, even though still alive. Within days or at the most two weeks, they died in their sleep.

Thank you for joining me here. Soho

Here's a strange twist to this odyssey with Mia. I was beside myself with losing my sanity when signing in at the vet, and blurted out 'is there a cat anywhere around here that needs a home?'. This particular woman behind the desk isn't there everyday, but the first time I went in could sense the intuitiveness she's developed on that job, and always approach her for what I need, if she's there.

She has penetrating blue eyes and looks straight into the eyes of the person she is listening or talking with. After those blue eyes were satisfied, she looked over at a cat laying quietly in a cage in the lobby, and said "she is". I adopted her from the office, who had already found homes for her seven kittens, while she recuperated from being spayed. I pushed to speak to the former worker who lives about 100 miles away, who took this cat from the wild for a year, and finally 'tamed' her after the birth of the second litter. This person who cared that much, carried the mom and seven weaned kittens all the way back to this vet's office to make sure they were healthy and to find homes for them.

We talked about the cat a few minutes by phone, and after my Mia was taken care of, this one, who came with the name Zoey, was checked over for the stitches still healing from spaying, given a rabies shot, and off we went back home. I have some renewed faith that the Great Spirit spoils no one, but knows your greatest need and at the right moment, provides for that need.

Next up is the thread; what should it be named? There's too many good people with needs, too shy to ask for help from this gifted group of people. You haven't turned your back on me, we can promise to just stand with someone in their pain, can't we?

Soho, who has leaned on your strength at the worst possible times.

Soho

Life is strange. I remember having a black and white cat that I adored. She was old and yet I felt she still had some living to do. A neighbor called me and said there was a black and white cat that was a stray and she was in her yard. Would I take her or she would have to call the pound. I went over and she looked just like my old cat. I took her in and named her Patches. She was so much fun so smart My old girl loved watching her antics.

A few months later my Carrie went into heart failure. I was devastated but coming home to a cat was so much easier than not having one. I also think about how much joy Patches brought my Carrie. Every day Carrie would watch as Patches climbed the tree in our back yard and she would be racing back and forth chasing butterflies.

I am glad to hear you have a new cat Soho because she will keep you busy. You need that.

Nephro sometimes old cats go outside and they fall asleep and they don't wake up. I found a cat in my back yard once just curled up as though he was sleeping but he had passed away. Later I told my neighbor who was looking for her cat.
It is easier on us if they go to sleep and don't wake. It does happen. I was wondering if I should tell my neighbor but she needed to know because she kept searching for her cat. In the end she was relieved. It is too bad Nephro you could not know but your cat did things his/her way,

I hope that did happen, but she never left the premises normally. There was a large area of overgrown wasteland at the bottom of the garden, and I went at it with a scythe until there was nothing left of it (with permission of the owner, of course). Most of the skin had come off my hands and I didn't notice until afterwards. I also put signs in all local shops. One shopkeeper said that there was a certain place near a church where many cats seem to go when they've had enough, but I couldn't find her anywhere.

But a few days later, a black cat (the previous one was white) started mooching around the place, mainly looking for chase birds and mice, and soon she decided to move in. We didn't really encourage it, though there are quite a few feral cats around, but she just seemed to KNOW that we were cat people.

Dear Soho, I have delayed posting in this thread because it is so painful. I am a "dog" person, but I understand that we can all love different animals. I have had many dogs, but the one that will always be special in my heart had to be put down when she was 7. It is 14 years ago and I still cannot pass a chocolate lab without a tear. We have another dog now -- and had two in between. Our pooch now is a wonderful girl, but my chocolate lab had a special place in my heart that will never go to anyone else. I guess my love of animals was passed down to my children because in 2 weeks my daughter will graduate from veterinary school. So I will have a vet in the family. Animals make us better. For a while, PETA said that it was wrong to have pets -- that animals should not be owned by anyone. In my humble opinion, without animals, people would lack some goodness. And now even PETA agrees that having pets is a good thing. I am always distrustful of people who:
A. lack a sense of humor
B. don't like animals
Check around and I think you will agree that if people lack these two traits, they are not quite right. They lack a certain humanity. I hope your new cat is helping you heal. The new girl will bring her own energy, her own humor (yes, animals can be funny!) and her own joy. If you are like me, you can enjoy your new girl, but there will always be an ache for the special Mia. Best to you and the new kitty. The world would be such a heartbreaking place without animals.

Washcook, that was a really wonderful post! Every word so true... never leave yourself without the company of animals, if you can avoid it, they connect us to real life.

You can have many animal friends in life, but there does seem to be that one special soul mate, lost mine after 15 years, he was the 'best dog in the whole universe, and even the world", that's what I would tell him, and it was true to me.

Animals are pure, they are the best of nature, with a direct connection to God and a special place by His side.

Nephro

My next door neighbor had a cat that never left her yard. I fed her when they went on vacation. She was a creature of habit.

She passed away at the corner of our street in a shady flower bed.

I was very frightened because I come home to a note saying " Your cat died in our yard.' I have Baby Boy who is always home here and I thought it was him. I walked over there and my neighbor's cat was laying there as though she was sleeping. Who knows why she went there . She was very old also. Her markings were the same as Baby Boy's and he was asleep somewhere ignoring me. I was so sure it was him and so relieved yet sad about Pearl dying and I had to tell my neighbor. The people apologized and I said our cat does look like Pearl they were the same weight and same markings. So you just never know.

I do hope that's how she went. There were foxes living in that wasteland, and we used to leave chicken carcasses and the like for them to eat, since they had cubs as well. She used to chase them off when she was well, but she wasn't well enough to put up a fight against a fox when she became ill.

She was a feral cat herself who had been been brought to kennels by the man in the van, so she was pretty fearless. This cat we have now is just the opposite!

SoHo ..my heart was so happy to hear you found a new furbaby to love ,, i adopted my moochie right after my bootie was sent to heaven ,,and it really lifted my soul when i found my baby mooch about a 2 weeks after little bootie left me,.,of course there will always be a hole in our hearts when we loose our little babies,but that next new love and special bond between us and our furry family members helps the pain ,, I will always miss all my babies that have gone to heaven ,but my life was made so much richer and happier because of them all... sigh,,, take care Soho ,, lots of hugs ,,, sincerely Faith .. ps i would love to help with the thread you want to start ,,, its a wonderful idea ,,

SoHo,
Your new kitty is lucky to have a mommy like you!
MrJR

I'll second that MrJR!!! SoHo, I do like the name Zoey, but let us know what you end up naming her. Your bud, Rina

Soho,

I am hoping to hear your new cat settles in and tames. It is quite a challenge. I have had luck with many cats that were so frightened they bit us and tore our flesh. Now they are sweet and tame. I do have two that never did tame. I got them too late. Yet they are sweet and happy. I just cannot handle them.

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I Do believe this cat has the approprite name, ZOe means LIFE.

how fitting in this situation. I think it should stay Zoe.

Just want to let you know it's not working out with Zoey, she's always been a stray, accepted a home until her last batch of kittens were weaned for a few months, but although she's not timid, she wants no part of contact with a human. I'm sorry for her and how this particular story is going to end, but back to the vet's office she'll go if nothing gives by late Monday.

I know lots of you are thinking, well you could try this, and sometimes doing this helps; but I'm worn out and can't go through hoops with her, I don't have it in me right now. I can't keep her out of guilt. I'll be hitting the shelters next week. Whoever wants me will come home with me. Sorry to bring disappointment.

Faith, thanks for any help with the thread. I'm no good to anybody until I find an orphan who adopts me. Soho

Soho,

We don't know each other but maybe I can help. I work with special needs cats, run a private shelter and I also have years of extensive rehab work with feral cats. My first thought is that you have to realize that a feral cat is not the same as a domesticated cat in any way despite how they look. Even if they were once tame and then ended up a stray, they revert to feral skills to survive.

I don't want to butt in where I'm not wanted but if you are interested, I think I can help you. What I will just say briefly is that Mia was an individual. The two of you shared years of love that only time can create. Zoey is not Mia. She has no history with you and the history she does have sounds like she has no trust in humans.

A feral cat can and will bond with only one person in the household. It happens on kitty's time, not yours. But, the bond that develops between a once feral cat and their human is often times stronger than that of a domesticated cat. I know instances of feral cats risking their lives when their person was in danger. I have several once feral cats that share my life. For me, it is an honor that they chose to accept me into their life. One even acts as my body guard as I walk around the property. He lets no one near me.

I would never suggest keeping an animal out of guilt. But I will say perhaps you need to step back a bit. You need to grieve for Mia and while you give yourself that space, let Zoey find her way in a place that is totally strange to her right now. Moving to a new environment is extremely stressful for a cat unlike most dogs.

You don't need to go thru hoops. Let her be. Speak softly, walk quietly and gently around her. You two can and will get where you want to be but there is no time table. You can't force an animal to love you. But you can give them every reason in the world to want to. She will come around if you teach her to trust. Once she knows she is safe, she will come out of her shell.

If I can help you, let me know and I would be glad to. One final word. Sometimes the things that don't come as easily as we'd like, end up being the things that mean the most to us.

I agree and cats even house cats moved into new homes can take months to come around and show love.
This does not sound like a good fit. I rescue animals and the first thing is always a good fit. This cat will be fine one day in a home that isn't looking for the fuzz ball to be around all day at first. If this cat was going to a kill shelter than of course more time should be given but it's not.
I would return the cat, breathe for a few days, weeks and go to a shelter where the cats are roaming in a big room for a part of the day and see who comes to you. I found one this way and loved that cat Zoey. I let her pick me.
Soho this cat will find the right place one day don't worry. That place might land up being a barn which she will be happy to help with the mice and get a nice bowl of food in the morning for her hard work that night. All cats do not want to be house cats or people cats.
One of my barn cats could care less if we visit he only wants some food.
K

I think right now Soho needs a kitten and one who will bond with her. She is mourning her cat and this cat cannot offer that immediate love and Soho has no time to work with a feral cat. It was unfair of that woman to do this. She should have been more forthright.

I think under the circumstances and I have talked to Soho she needs a kitten that is tame. I think the cat will find a good home. Not everyone is suited to tame a feral cat and the timing is bad for Soho.
You need plenty of time and you need to understand ferals.
I was home all day and it took me a long time and a lot of work. There are people experienced in caring and taming ferals. This cat may be happier being an outdoor cat just being fed.

Zoey is probably a feral cat that allowed herself to be captured when she had her babies. Sometimes it is a choice for them--running from the captor or staying with the babies. That is how many of them get captured--at least they can be spayed, but it sometimes takes YEARS before a feral cat will take up with a human. Mine lived in a garment bag in the closet for a year and a half and I never saw her--I knew she was there because she ate and used the litterbox. She finally became part of the family (allowed herself to be out in public) but she was never a cuddly cat. If you have the patience, it can work, but you might need a cuddly kitten that can make you laugh!

Dear Kikimart, I wanted to specially reply to you because it's always so great to hear from someone who takes a chance and they want to be helpful. Thank you. I returned the cat to the vet on Sunday, was so confused thought it was Monday, five days with this cat was like two months.

I've had more feral cats than domesticated, but was in a difference place in my own head. Didn't need to make contact, enjoyed letting them build trust, but I found that there was always a place that was as far as you could go.
Mia was also abandoned, she didn't know how to knead with her nails until the last year. And where did she first knead her paws, on me. That was at aged 11. She always had to sleep with her back to me never facing me. Lots of things like that, but I have never mourned a loss like I do her. She and I were in total sync, every minute, every day.

I cancelled appts to go look at kittens, because Mia is too 'alive' for me here. In all my five decades, never did I have to wait to replace a kitty. This special soul worked herself deep inside me. But thanks for the offers. I do appreciate the care and wisdom people like you and Musician and others have shared over this.